Mary Hazel Tobey Hildreth 1900-1974

Mary and Bruce

Mary with Gerald (L) and Bruce (R)

      

Mary was born on 3 Feb 1900 in Caton, New York to Charles Tobey and Theresa Haselbauer. She died on 18 Apr 1974 in Interlaken, New York at age 74, and was buried in Grove Cemetery, Trumansburg, New York. Mary married Frank Judson Hildreth, son of Frank Judson Hildreth and Myrta E. Nichols, on 21 May 1923 in Elmira, New York. The marriage ended about 1925 when Frank deserted Mary and the two boys.

      Mary graduated from Horseheads High School in June 1918 and Meeker Business Institute in 1920 after which she taught at Meeker for two years. After she married Frank she worked at Pennsylvania Railroad as a stenographer and they lived at 449 Pennsylvania Avenue in Elmira, New York.

    She worked as a stenographer in Elmira to support herself and her little boys, but the boys had to live with relatives since she had no way to take care of them. She visited them when she could, but it must have been heart breaking to be away from the boys. In the 1930 census she still listed herself as married and her sister and another young lady were living with her. The children returned to live with her when they were in junior high school.  She worked for Elmira Women’s College as Secretary to the President for most of her career. 

Who do you Think you are? Frank Judson Hildreth 1899-1991

      Kim Cattrall's hunt for her grandfather on "Who do you Think you are" mirrored my own hunt for my grandfather.Frank Judson Hildreth who left Mary, Bruce and Jerry about 1926-27.  He changed his name to Peter Gilmor, left New York state and went to work in Detroit.  Mary and Frank had only been married about 3 years when he left her with two toddlers.  My grandmother Mary never remarried.

      My hunt began in earnest after my father, Bruce, died in 1990.  I didn't want to meet him, particularly, but just wanted to know about his life. The Social Security Death Index showed that he died in 1991--AFTER my father died--but it didn't give the state where he died.  About 10 years ago, I was checking Ancestry.com, yet again, and found he had died in Manatee County, Florida.  It was a short hunt to find his obituary and contact his survivors. Voila!  I found his second family, Keith and Larry Hildreth.  Not only that, I met Keith and his wife in Florida and he gave me more information about Frank "Pete", including a couple of pictures about him. Keith and Larry and I are still in touch.

      Frank Judson "Pete" was born 9 Feb 1899 in Elmira to Frank Judson Hildreth, Sr. and Myrta Nichols and died 24 September 1991. Before Frank met Mary he enlisted in the army in World War I  on May 8, 1917 at the age of 18. He was discharged September 26, 1919. His record stated he was 5 feet 7 ¼ inches tall with light brown hair and blue eyes. Helen Tobey Burr, Mary’s sister, remembers that he was very handsome and was an accomplished pianist. In later life he was a painter, eventually moved to Florida where he died.

       I may never know why he left the family, but I know this chapter is closed for me.  It is interesting that some of us want to know more about our missing grandfathers.  I have helped several others find their own grandfathers who abandoned the family.  I guess it's our "need to know" the end of the story.

Bruce Franklin Hildreth--1924-1990

Bruce’s father, Frank Judson Hildreth, left the family when Bruce was only about 18 months old. He went to live with his Aunt Jane Tobey Coon and her husband Charlie Coon since his mother had to go to work and couldn’t take care of her two small children. Bruce had many fond memories of Charlie and never forgot him. Charlie died when Bruce was about 8 years old so he went to live with his grandparents Charles and Theresa Tobey on their farm in Pony Hollow, New York. His brother Jerry already was living with them so at least the brothers were able to grow up together until they were in junior high when they went back to Elmira to live with their mother.

Bruce graduated from Southside High School in Elmira and from the University of Buffalo with a degree in physics and mechanical engineering. He worked in different industries, until retiring from Ford Motor Company in Detroit, Michigan. His career moves took the family from Buffalo, New York, to Wallingford, Connecticut, Willingboro, New Jersey, and finally Livonia, Michigan. He retired to Simpsonvile, South Carolina where he died in 1990.

Found my Uncle Gerald's family!

I had been looking for years for my Uncle Gerald Hildreth's family. He is my father's brother. I remember playing with my cousins when I was young but after his divorce I never saw them again. I heard he got married again and had a son, but Gerald died at only 54 before I could ever make contact with him or his son.
I'm writing a book on the family and thought, I'll try just one more time. Good thing for facebook! I found his son, Paul and soon after found his daughter Bonnie, from his first marriage. Paul had a lot of old pictures and some information about Gerald's life. I remember him as being nice, but I only met him a couple of times and always wondered what he was like. After doing a little more research I was able to put his life together. I've also included my Dad's story. They were only a year apart, to the day. I hope they are happy wherever they are that their distant families are now in contact with each other!

Paul Gerald Hildreth

PAUL GERALD HILDRETH 1923-1977

Gerald’s father, Frank Judson Hildreth, left the family when Gerald was only about 2 ½ years old. His mother had to go to work to support the little family and was unable to take care of Gerald and his brother Bruce, so Gerald went to live with his grandfather, Charles Tobey, in Pony Hollow, New York. Bruce went to live with Mary’s older sister, Jane. Gerald saw his mother once every couple of months until he was old enough to attend junior high school when the boys moved back with her in Elmira. Gerald attended Southside High School, and according to his brother Bruce, he had hard time from the other kids in school, as well as adapting to the rigors of school. He grew up on a farm, attending a one room school house, so the transition was understandably difficult.

He left school and enlisted in the Marines at age 17 on 19 Nov 1940 at Syracuse, New York and was deployed to Marine Corps Recruit Depot at Parris Island, South Carolina. He fought in the 1^st Marine Marine Division at Guadalcanal during World War II. This was an infantry division, landing on 7 Aug 1942. They no tents, spare clothing or bed rolls, no office equipment, unit muster rolls or pay clerks. Other things not yet available to this first wave of Marine deployments were insect repellent and mosquito netting. One can only imagine the conditions under which they fought and won the island.

“Not a man was lost in the landing operation on Guadalcanal on August 7, 1942. The Japanese, caught completely by surprise, fled into the jungle and the hills beyond, abandoning their prized airstrip -- but not for long. When the fighting finally subsided on Feb. 9, 1943, more than 1,700 Americans had been killed, nearly 5,000 wounded (most of them, Marines) in this, the longest of the World War II battles fought in the Pacific.

After they won the island, they were deployed to Australia to rest and regroup before the next deployment. We don’t know where else Gerald was deployed but since he didn’t leave the service for a few years, he may very well have fought with the division in the battle of New Guinea, the bloody battle of Pelelius, and finally Okinawa. He was discharged in November 1946. In Bruce’s letter to Gerald in September 1945, he asked about Gerald’s knee injury. Gerald was going back into the hospital evidently to try again to fix it. Based on Bruce’s letters to him, Gerald had struggled with malaria, as well, as so many of those Marines did that fought in the tropics.

Gerald died in 1977 of a heart attack. My father lost his only sibling, and I was too young to realize what that must have meant, considering all the the trials they had gone through together. I hope they are together now.

---